I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...


******************************************



A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....


******************************************


How Fights Start


My wife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, ' D ust.'

And then the fight started...


******************************************


My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, " D o you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....


******************************************


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...


******************************************


I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a D WARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....


*****************************************


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started...


******************************************


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive... so, I took her to a petrol station.

And then the fight started...


******************************************


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...


******************************************


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ' D o you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...


******************************************

just copy and paste whatever is written in da code and start writing backwards in a reply to this topic

njoy 

A warrior, traveling towards SPARTA, war and chaos is near.


This is madness!!


Madness!?


This is SPARTA!!


She is also SPARTAN!!


And then he's SPARTAN too!!


Anyway all of them are SPARTAN!!


You’re ~censored~ crazy!!


What the ~censored~!!


Even the king needs to follow God’s orders…..


Please lead us!! God of the Sun!!


You idiot!! Calling me out in the middle of the night!! Get the hell outta here~


So, the king departed with his strongest army.
P/S: That damn sun~


They met their alliances in the journey.


That’s all you’ve brought?


Hmph~


You!! Who the hell are you?


I am Spiderman the hero of justice!~


Then how about you?


I am Harry Potter sir~!


And you?


I am the pride of Supersaiyans~


Ha!! A bunch of little characters!!


Brothers!! Tell them what we are!!


Andy Lau: I only want to be a good man!!


No this is SPARTA!!


Finally, they reached the Evil Tower….
the war is about to start….


You'll never retreat you'll never surrender!!


But tonight we dine in hell!!


Dine in hell isn't free ~censored~!!




Surrender!! Spartans!!

What the!!

Arrg!!

Actually…….I’m your father!!

HELL NO!!

I will have revenge!!

Eat that ~love~ ~censored~!!

Finally, the Spartans faces the KING OF EVIL.

I can’t believe it…its you..

SpongeBob SquarePants!!


I lose…….

My era is finally here!!

Hmph!! You’re too stupid!!

Arrgh!! Its impossible!? You!?

That’s right!! See I got a death note!!

what are YOU?

Pick the month you were born in

1 - I ate
2 - I needed
3 - I ran naked with
4 - I shot
5 - I cuddled with
6 - I smoked with
7 - I banged
8 - I ran shirtless with
9 - I stabbed
10 - I kiilled
11 - I slept with
12-I killed

Pick the day (number) you were born on

01 - the trojan man
02 - a dog
03 - a jew
04 - a toothbrush
05 - Paris Hilton
06 - a homo
07 - Barny the dinosaur
08 - a prostitute
09 - a pornstar
10 - a bag of weed
11 - the kool-aid-man
12 - Santa Claus
13 - a condom
14 - a whorè
15 - an orange
16 - a stripper
17 - a bisexual
18 - a horse
19 - my boyfriend
20 - a crackhead
21 - a homeless guy
22 - my lover
23 - my crush
24 - a easter egg
25 - a jar of honey
26 - a hottie
27 - a bowl of cereal
28 - a french fry
29 - your dealer
30 - a glass of milk
31 - Your grandma

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White - Because thats how i roll
Black - because im sexy as hell
Pink - Because the lil people told me to
Red - because I have AMAZING boobs
Blue - because I'm a pimp and your jealous
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm gày
Gray - because I love marijuana
Other - because I have double D's
Green - because I'm good in bed
Orange - because I smoke crack
Turqoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Brown - because i had to
Shirtless - because I've got abs

i killed a pornstar because I'm a pimp and your jealous 

hi..hello...namaste
though am not new here but its been long since i was last active nd theres a lot of new faces srry avatars hehe........so thought lets make a new start.........nd i must say i missed fotn......members rone ka nahi i know bohut senti dialogue mara apun ne ...........so my name vinay....pesha part time college mai sona aur full time masti karna.......studying in coimbatore.......living in orissa....nd basically a malayalee thats all i s'pose

The air is dusty now, no more talks, yes?




It's cold and all that's left is a bitter frost.


That bite.
I won't wish it on my worst enemy.


Because its worse than any poison.
It eats you inside out, and leaves your brain and heart whole
To suffer.


What kind of a friend are you? Were you one at all?


I'm so confused by you.


You used to be happy to see me
And talk to me
And I felt the same way.

Now I have to make an appointment to see you...
Mostly.


The rest of the time,
apparently,
I'm not even there to ask.
Because to you I'm invisible.
After all, rose colored glasses don't see the past.


I've waited so long to talk, you promise you'd be there
I'd eagerly wait.
Hoping we could feel that spark of joy we used to find
In each other so long ago.

One hour, two hours, three hours, four.
One week, three weeks, two months, more.


I'm slow to anger. But when it comes
It's rage.


I wish I could forget all about you
And not care anything at all.
But I can't, because even if you never loved me (you liar.)
I still love you.
Unconditionally.


Why is it
That my absolute best
...is not good enough for you?



I gave you my all. But it wasn't enough, was it?


Because friends are for fair weather.

Right?

My blood: you got it
My sweat: you got it
My Heart: you had it...


But I'm taking that one back. Thanks.

It's funny how, when your days see brighter skies
You forget all the thunderstorms I sheltered with you from.

It's funny how, when you have new bright days ahead
You forget the dark ones we wandered out of.

Things are so easy to forget.
I don't blame you...
None of my time was wasted on you
I don't regret a thing,

Because I'm stronger now.


So.
Move on, move on. Don't remember me.

And maybe one day it would hurt me less.




Liar.

Dedicated to my best friend. The one who probably wud never read this yet............

Just needed to get that out.

been a long time since my last post........so here is something i found interesting
njoy

so here is a chance for u to win a karma all u got to do is finish this shayari..........

dooor se dekha to sher dikh raha tha
(wah wah wah...)
dooor se dekha to sher dikh raha tha
(wah wah wah...)
pass jake dekha to...........

so finish this up and win a karma frm me