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 Which One Is Married?
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None." replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking
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What an Idea Sirjeee
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch."
"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said.
"I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"
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He comes from a learned family!!
THE RABBI'S WIDOW !!!
In the Old Country, the Rabbi of a small town died. His widow,the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the people of the town decided that she ought to get married again.
But the town was so small that the only eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal education.
However, she was lonely, so she agreed, and they were married.
After the marriage, Friday came. She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare to light the candles. The butcher leaned over to her and said, “My mother, Hana, told me that after the mikvah and before lighting the candles, it’s good to have sex.” So they did. She lit the candles. He leaned over again and said, “My father,Shmuel, told me that after lighting the candles it’s good to have sex.” So they did.
They went to bed after saying their prayers. When they awoke, he said to her, “My grandmother, Rivka, said that before you go to the synagogue it’s good to have sex.” So they did.
After praying all morning, they came home to rest. Again he whispers in her ear, “My grandfather, Moishe, says after praying it’s good to have sex.” So they did.
On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a friend who asked, “So how is the new husband?”
She replied, “Well, a scholar he isn’t, but he comes from a very learned family." | Write Comment
And after the Women's Day ...
A man was SICK and TIRED of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.
And further jealous of her, as she received lot of Women's Day wishes and compliments
He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.Amen!"
Poof!!!
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose,
cooked breakfast for his mate, Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches, Drove them to school, Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
Went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries,
Paid the bills and balanced the check book...
He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then, it was already 1.00pm
And he hurried to make the beds...
...do the laundry...
vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor...
...Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and...
...got the kids organized to do their homework. Then,
set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30pm,
he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad...
...rolled meatballs and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,
He cleaned the kitchen, Ran the dishwasher.. .
...Folded laundry, Bathed the kids, And put them to bed. At 9.00pm,
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love,
which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning,
he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:
"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!"
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait NINE MONTHS, though. You got pregnant last night."
GO AHEAD, SEND THIS TO A WOMAN
WHO NEEDS A GOOD BELLY LAUGH
AND TO A MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT !!!
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You can clean your pc screen in side off the screen....
Go TO Following Link For clean your pc screen | Write Comment
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