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3671  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / Cleric & Golf on: July 29, 2010, 01:27:43 PM
Cleric & Golf

A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second
golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that
he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're
about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The
first fellow said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, and while counting his
$80.00, the second guy confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring
course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he
was the Parish Priest.

The pro got all flustered and apologetic, offering to return the
money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to
bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a
donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll
marry them."
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3672  Image Zone / Movies/Celebs/Parties Pictures / Carly Cole and Jennifer Metcalfe show off their svelte figures as they hit the s on: July 28, 2010, 08:12:38 PM
Carly Cole and Jennifer Metcalfe show off their svelte figures as they hit the shops in Liverpool

One's a WAG married to Joe Cole and the other is a soap star who is an ex-WAG due to her on/off relationship with Jermaine Pennant.

But while Carly Cole and Jennifer Metcalfe don't appear to know each other, both opted for slimming leggings as they hit the shops in Liverpool yesterday.

New Liverpool resident Mrs Cole, whose husband has just transferred from Chelsea to Anfield, showed off her svelte figure in a pair of stirrup leggings and a purple vest.

After picking up some things for her baby daughter Ruby in Mothercare, the east Londoner, 26, stopped to pick up the four-month-old out of her pram to soothe her.
She was later joined by husband Joe who accompanied her on a stroll round the city centre.

The Coles moved up north last week following the winger's rumoured £90,000-a-week transfer to Liverpool F.C.

Although the family are currently living in a hotel while they house hunt for a Merseyside base, Mrs Cole has already been hitting the shops with abundance to furnish their new home.

Meanwhile, looking a bit less harassed at the Liverpool 1 centre nearby was Hollyoaks actress Metcalfe, who was enjoying a spot of retail therapy by herself.

The 26-year-old had also chosen a pair of black leggings, but teamed them with an eye-catching blue jumper, featuring a smiley face, with ice cream cones strategically placed over her chest area

Metcalfe was at the Liverpool 1 centre only a few days ago when she joined a few of her Hollyoaks co-stars to launch a spin-off book from show, entitled Hollyoaks Girl Talk.
The actress, who plays feisty Mercedes Fisher, wore a bright red dress as she joined on-screen relatives Gemma Merna (Carmel Valentine), Jorgie Porter (Theresa McQueen) and Hollie-Jay Bowes (Michaela McQueen).

Showing off her curves in her tight-fitting leggings, Metcalfe is feeling more confident about her body than ever after undergoing £2,000 vaser liposuction procedure to remove excess fat from her upper thigh and bottom area.
The brunette beauty underwent the operation at the Beau Aesthetica salon in Leicester last month - just in time for her bikini shoot for the annual Hollyoaks girls calendar shoot.
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3673  General Category / The Newsroom / £7,000 for the cake at Chelsea Clinton's £3.2 MILLION wedding of the year on: July 28, 2010, 07:48:15 PM
£7,000 for the cake at Chelsea Clinton's £3.2 MILLION wedding of the year

When your father is a former U.S. President and your mother is the Secretary of State, having your wedding reception in the local pub isn’t an option.

Chelsea Clinton’s big day in a country mansion on Saturday could cost up to £3.2million.

No expense will be spared at what will be the American society event of the year, with the equivalent of £6,400 being spent on each of the 500 guests

Tents costing £400,000 have been set up, £70,000 is going on tables and crockery and a staggering £320,000 is being spent on flowers, thought to be Casablanca lillies and orchids.
Miss Clinton’s dress, designed by Oscar de la Renta or Vera Wang, is rumoured to be a cool £16,000, and the jewellery she wears on the day is worth £160,000. The cake alone will cost £7,000 and security a further £130,000

Guests are even being treated to porcelain portable toilets that flush, play music and have hot running water.
Miss Clinton is expected to hire between four and six Portaloo trailers - at a total cost of about £10,000.

The union of Miss Clinton, 30, and Marc Mezvinsky, 32, will take place at Astor Courts, the former estate of millionaire John Jacob Astor IV in Rhinebeck, New York.

Estimates put the cost at between £1.9million and £3.2million, far more than most celebrity weddings.
When Liza Minnelli and David Gest tied the knot, it cost £1.6million, while Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes spent £1.2million.

‘This will definitely be the biggest wedding of the year,’ said Donnie Brown, a celebrity wedding planner.

Businesses in Rhinebeck have been getting into the swing of things, with banners bearing messages of congratulations hung inside cafe windows and outside shops.

And as the big day draws near, it seems Miss Clinton has been hitting the gym to look and feel her best.

The bride-to-be was spotted in New York yesterday leaving the gym after a work out.

After a quick change of clothes, Miss Clinton was snapped tucking into a tub of frozen yoghurt, but not before a spot of book shopping.

The rings will cost £3,500 each, alcohol and food for the main event and after party will come to £100,000, the equivalent of £200 per person, although the cake will cost £7,000 on its own with sugar flowers and fondants increasing the price.
Even mundane items like the stationery - invites, programmes and menus - will push the budget up, and are expected to come to a total of £32,000.

No expense has been spared with organisational matters either, and the rehearsal dinner alone cost £16,000 and a huge £320,000 has been earmarked for transporting guests to the event

As for the toilets, they will be equipped with sinks with hot water, vanities for the ladies, marble interior and skylights with a male and female attendant in each trailer.

Wedding planner Claudia Hanlin said the final bill would be pushed up by the high quality demanded across the board.

‘Food and booze are already expensive, but the Clintons are reportedly hiring multiple vendors, which is one reason the food estimate gets so high,’ she said.

On the plus side, it looks like both sets of parents can afford it.

Mezvinsky is an investment banker at Goldman Sachs and the child of two politician parents, Marjorie Margolies-Mezvinsky and Edward M. Mezvinsky, both former members of Congress.
Marc and Chelsea were teenage friends in Washington DC and they became closer as undergraduates at Stanford University, California.

Bill and Hillary Clinton are also not shy of a dollar - since leaving office as president he has made a fortune from the lecture circuit and she is US Secretary of State, which carries an annual salary of £120,000.

Between 2000 and 2007 they earned a reported £70million.

The Clintons have have done their best to keep the guest list at a manageable number, forcing them to exclude many longstanding Democratic supporters.

A seat will doubtless be saved for President Obama should he attend - currently there are no plans for him to do so - but apart from that only those with a personal connection to the bride and groom have been invited.
Among the celebrities expected to attend, according to reports, are Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg and Barbra Streisand, as well as former prime minister John Major.

Major donors to the party and dozens of acquaintances have been snubbed as the family tried to keep the list under 500 people.

'We love you all but this is her wedding,' Hillary Clinton said.

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3674  General Category / Travel & Tourism / Incredible India campaign (Awesome slogans!) on: July 28, 2010, 05:45:01 PM
Incredible India campaign (Awesome slogans!)

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3675  Image Zone / Funny Pictures / Fascinating Bumper stickers for Seniors on: July 28, 2010, 05:22:20 PM
Fascinating Bumper stickers for Seniors

Bumper stickers for Seniors
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3676  General Category / Health and Fitness / Youth forever! on: July 28, 2010, 01:38:03 PM
Youth forever!

You have the power to prolong your life, says Norbert Rego

Fitness cannot be seen in the mirror, one should feel it from within oneself. Since decades people have been looking for that fountain of youth and ways to live longer. Now health experts are of the opinion that each individual has the power to prolong his or her life by taking good health decisions and maintaining discipline – eating right, exercising regularly and giving up cigarettes.

Pop icon Madonna, who’s in her early 50s, has set a physical benchmark for women. According to her trainer, her daily workouts involve running, skipping, sprinting, toning, pulsing, and crunching.

“It’s always advisable to plan your ageing just as you plan your investments,” says Sveta Bhassin, Mumbai-based dietician and nutrition consultant. “Your youth is your treasure, which does not last forever. Invest it in developing good habits which will keep ageing at bay.” According to Dr Dilip Nadkarni, Mumbai-based orthopedic surgeon, “If your mind and body functions seem younger than your age as per the calendar, you have a high ageing quotient or AQ (AQ is the ratio of your chronological age to your physiological age). To maintain a high AQ, one needs to follow the REAL formula – R for relaxation, E for exercise, A for attitude or posture and L for laughter.”

A state of relaxation is best achieved with simple breath awareness meditation. A favourite music collection or pages from a beloved book, they all contribute to relaxation. A relaxed mind is sure to slow down the overall ageing process.

Even the right kind of exercise determines the ageing process. A combination of yoga and walking helps keep a healthy heart, strong bones, joints and muscles. A good posture is essential to keep away degenerative conditions, especially of the back and neck. Correct posture while sitting, standing, sleeping and carrying objects will help protect your joints.

Above all, a positive attitude, good sense of humour and laughter are the medicines prescribed by doctors all over the world for remaining young. “We don’t stop laughing with age, we age because we stop laughing!” says Dr Nadkarni.
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3677  General Category / The Newsroom / Rahul, Dimpy heading for trouble? on: July 28, 2010, 11:40:55 AM
Rahul, Dimpy heading for trouble?

Indeed, Rahul Mahajan’s metrosexual-but-oh-so-sensitive attitude towards Dimpy Ganguly’s middleclass-bordering-on-bovine simplicity won a lot of hearts but the truth had to surface.

Seems like Rahul and Dimpy’s national marriage is troubled already. Else, why is Rahul pursuing his ex-girlfriend Payal Rohatgi?

Apparently, Rahul has been calling Payal incessantly at odd hours for over a month now. He has also been sending her text messages. A source says, “He (Rahul) is indeed pursuing her (Payal), texting her that he’d like to meet her. It seems he can’t forget her.”

That Rahul had even asked Payal to be a part of Swayamvar cannot be forgotten. At the time however Payal refused Rahul’s offer and told the media, “Please! He is a married man and I am not in touch with him. We used to be friends but that was a long time ago. He also offered to pay me Rs 1 crore to be a part of it. You see, he wanted a friend around. But I was used enough in Bigg Boss 2 to know better.”

Convoluted... yes. But Payal is not willing to take Rahul’s advances lightly anymore. She is not amused, the source adds, “Payal is not liking it at all. She is quite surprised by the number of messages she has received from him in the past few days.

She has categorically told Rahul to stop connecting with her. But he is adamant.” But then again, when it comes to ‘connecting’ with others (from this world or not), Rahul excels in it.

When contacted, Payal says, “What Rahul is doing by calling and sending me messages is very irritating. I am done with him. I don’t live in the past.” It is common knowledge that Payal was very close to Rahul until his roving eye chanced upon Monica Bedi in Bigg Boss 2. Did Payal take time to recover from that? “Not at all,” says Payal, “The most difficult period was when I was housed in Bigg Boss 2. I realised his true colours there.”

Rahul had called Payal “a time-pass” in the show; she has reason to be miffed. As for the house Rahul had gifted her, she had to vacate it after Bigg Boss 2. “Let’s not go there,” sighs Payal.

Despite repeated attempts, Rahul Mahajan remained unavailable for comment.

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3678  General Category / Health and Fitness / Boy, 12, taunted about being 'chubby' had to be force-fed in hospital after eati on: July 27, 2010, 09:20:47 PM
Boy, 12, taunted about being 'chubby' had to be force-fed in hospital after eating just 50 calories a day

A schoolboy taunted for being 'chubby' told yesterday how he became anorexic at the age of 11 and lost so much weight he was left on the verge of death.

Taylor Kerkham, now 12, became obsessed about his calorie intake, and on some days would eat as little as half a pot of diet yoghurt and a slice of cherry tomato.

His anxious parents tried everything to make him eat more, but the previously healthy and active youngster would become hysterical and threaten to throw his dinner plate on the floor.

Eventually Taylor collapsed after his weight plummeted to under 5st, and he was admitted to hospital and fed through a tube amid fears he was at risk of heart failure

Doctors said his circulation was so poor he faced losing his fingers and toes, but after months of medical attention and therapy he was allowed home.

Now back at school and enjoying food again, Taylor yesterday bravely spoke out about the little-known phenomenon of anorexia in boys.

Taylor's problems began when he started at secondary school weighing around 8st.

 Taylor now eats normally - although he does not like large portions. He is pictured here recovering in hospital where his weight fell to under five stone

While he wasn't seriously bullied, 'jibes' about being overweight made him self-conscious.

'I was not fat but I was a bit chubby,' he said. 'Other children made comments and I wanted to be healthier, I wanted to lose weight.

'It started with watching TV, seeing programmes about healthy eating, and then I started to look up calories in recipe books and on the computer.'

Taylor set himself a target of eating just 1,500 calories a day - the recommended intake for a boy of his age is around 2,200 - but as his obsession deepened he slashed that to just 50.

He would scrutinise his 39-year-old mother Cheryl's cooking avidly, she explained yesterday.

'Every mealtime was a battleground. He would watch me cooking and then examine everything I was putting into the pan.

'He would shout if I added oil. He even pretended to drop his plate so that he wouldn't have to eat something he didn't like.

'He would give his food to the dog, he would hide it behind the sofa - we had to stay with him watching him all the time.'

Along with his father Simon, who works for an insulation firm, they took professional advice, removing mirrors around the family home in Stockport, Greater Manchester and taking the batteries from their bathroom scales.

But by last summer he had started to hallucinate, becoming convinced he was taking in calories from smelling other people's food and even perfume.

When his parents forced him to eat a biscuit he became hysterical, threatening to commit suicide.

'His strength of mind to pursue this was amazing, he was so determined,' said his 42-year-old father.

'He was not himself. He had always loved his food. It was frightening.'

After collapsing at school he had to be admitted to Stepping Hill Hospital where he was fed through a tube while his heart was monitored for fear it would fail.

Taylor, who needed a wheelchair to get around, was then moved to a child and adolescent mental health ward at Royal Manchester Children's Hospital where he spent the next six months.

Now weighing a healthy seven and a half stone, he has returned to lessons at Stockport School and enjoys playing table tennis and riding his BMX bike. His ambition is to become a zoologist

'It is weird now, I can remember when I could only think about food and how I liked losing weight,' said Taylor, who has a 16-year-old brother, Jack.

'Talking about it now it seems like a long time ago, almost like it was another person.'

While he still doesn't like eating large portions of food, he derives motivation to eat a healthy diet by the desire to grow taller - he has gained an inch in the past two months, double his growth while in hospital.
Now his parents want to raise awareness that eating disorders can affect boys as well as girls.

'I think there's a lot of pressure on young boys today, they see all these images of male models and footballers and want to be like them,' his mother said.

'Also while the healthy eating campaigns by people like Jamie Oliver do a lot of good, they can make children think about weight loss in the wrong way.'

They are backing eating disorders charity Beat which says conditions like anorexia affect young boys disproportionately.

'Young children are influenced by unrealistic images of perfect bodies which makes them far more self-aware and liable to find fault with their appearance than in the past,' said spokeswoman Mary George.

'It's vital that parents seek medical advice as soon as possible if they're worried about their child.'

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3679  General Category / Health and Fitness / Back in ballet shoes: Dancer, 14, ready to perform just a YEAR after surgeons co on: July 27, 2010, 08:24:57 PM
Back in ballet shoes: Dancer, 14, ready to perform just a YEAR after surgeons corrected her S-shaped spine

When Kelly Burrows found out she had a curved spine and needed major surgery, she thought her dream of performing as an en pointe ballet dancer was over.

But less than a year after the gruelling nine-hour operation, the 16-year-old is back on her feet and preparing to take to the stage at a theatre in front of hundreds of people.   

The schoolgirl had a S-shaped 65 degree curve in her spine, which was flat at the base instead of having a natural curve, when she was diagnosed with Idiopathic Scoliosis last year.
It was only when she was being measured for a dance costume when she was 14-years-old that her mother Wendy, 39, noticed some abnormalities.
'She had swelling on the right side of her back and I noticed her shoulder blades were uneven,' Wendy, from Willenhall, West Mids, said.

'I told my husband Steve, a paramedic, who got her to touch her toes while he felt her spine and he felt a slight curve.'
Kelly has been dancing since the tender age of five and was referred to Woodlands Royal Orthopaedic Hospital, Birmingham, where she was diagnosed with the spine curving condition.   

The teenager feared her dancing days were over but doctors said it was only a mild curve and if it stayed the same treatment would not be needed.

They sent her away and told her to go back in six-months.

However she started to experience back pain and discomfort and went back to hospital, where she was told surgery was the only way to rectify the problem.

Kelly said: 'The operation frightened me a lot because I didn't expect it. I didn't know much about the condition so I was a bit confused at first.
'It was so frightening. I had never had an operation before. It was very daunting.
It did cross my mind that I would never be able to dance again, but I did not want to consider that.'

Mrs Burrows, a civil servant, said: 'It was a real shock - we had never even heard of it. We did not know the disease existed. They said she would end up deformed if they didn't operate.

'It was getting progressively worse. She had a pronounced hump in her back and a drop to her right shoulder and her hips were out of line

'Kelly felt extremely self conscious and lost her self esteem. She was apprehensive about her future.
'Dancing has been her dream from a young age. A lot of young children have dance lessons and it is usually just a fad, but she has always wanted to continue with it.'

Kelly went under the knife in March 2009 and had a lower rib removed to gain access to her spine, which was used to fuse two titanium rods either side of it.   

Discs were removed from her vertebrae to align it and give it back its natural curve. Her lungs had to be deflated and she also had a chest drain.

'It was a big ordeal,' Mrs Burrows said.
'Kelly had a lot of mixed thoughts about it. We didn't know what the outcome would be and if she would ever be back to normal.

'I don't think she every believed she would get her posture right again. She didn't know how mobile she would be because of the rods in her back.

'But she was so positive all the way through. She really pushed herself - she was standing again after 48 hours. The physios could not believe how quickly she was progressing.

'She never complained. She just got on with it.

'She was making a remarkable recovery due to her strong willpower and positive attitude.'
Kelly was discharged from hospital just five days after the operation and was off school for around eight weeks.

But now, less than a year later, she is preparing for a dance show at the theatre with her school, Sandra's School of Dance in Willenhall.

'I am very excited,' Kelly added.

'I have missed the last couple of shows because of my back. I have always wanted to do it. I have loved the idea of it since I was a little girl and now I will finally be able to do it.'
Mrs Burrows added: 'I believe a lot her recovery was because of her dancing. It made her stronger and she was very healthy.

'Her positive attitude helped her to get back.'

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3680  Image Zone / Amazing, Breathtaking, Cute, etc. / 'Second skin' suit gives new lease of life to toddler whose joints dislocated ev on: July 27, 2010, 08:02:58 PM
'Second skin' suit gives new lease of life to toddler whose joints dislocated every time she played

A toddler born with a rare condition that means her knees and hips dislocate every time she tries to play or even walk is now jumping for joy thanks to an amazing SECOND SKIN.

Little Olivia Court suffers from Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a rare condition which causes extreme hypermobility, meaning her joints regularly bend in each and every direction and often dislocate.
The three-year-old's condition was so extreme by the age of one she could not sit up or crawl and her parents were told she would never be able to walk.

But now thanks to a revolutionary lycra suit, that acts as a 'second skin', Olivia can run around and play with other children her age - a dream come true for the energetic toddler.

The suit literally works by holding Olivia in place and stopping the movements of her joints which lead to the painful dislocations.

The specially designed £2,500 body suit - which must be worn eight hours a day, five days a week - helps Olivia's muscles become strong enough to keep her joints in place.

Doctors have been amazed by the results and Olivia will get a new suit each year in the hope she will develop enough strength to combat her condition herself.
Olivia's parents had hoped their local NHS Trust would pay for the suit, but they turned down funding because they said there was a lack of medical evidence the suit actually worked.
It was paid for instead by their local community group Barwell and Earl Shilton Lions Club, who raised the money.

Olivia is now enjoying a much more normal life with parents Lena, 36, and Adrian, 41, a secuirty engineer, in Earl Shilton, Leicestershire.
Mother Lena said: 'Before the suit Olivia would fall over constantly, her joints would dislocate and she would just topple over. It was heart-breaking.

'She was always covered in bruises and would regularly miss nursery because she would suffer from chronic fatigue.

'But the suit has made the world of difference, she can't stop running around now and her hips haven't dislocated since. She can play as a little girl should be able to.

'The suit not only keeps her joints in place but it supports her spine and her core muscles and since wearing it, her hips haven't dislocated once.
'It really has given her a new lease of life, she loves wearing it because she knows it means she can play with her friends for longer.
'A year-ago she couldn't even stand up unaided and now she is running around everywhere. It really has changed her life.'
Olivia has one of the most extreme cases of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, she was born without hip sockets meaning her hips were constantly dislocated.

Lena, 36, said the first she knew something was wrong, was when she noticed Olivia wasn't crawling or walking like other babies.

She said: 'Olivia would try to crawl and her legs would completely give way beneath her.

'The doctor said Olivia had one of the most extreme cases of EDS she had ever seen.'
Olivia underwent two operations to realign her hips, in the hope bones would form to help keep her hips in place. But the operations failed.

 Lena said: 'Olivia had a plaster cast from her chest to her knees for eleven months and even then her hips would still dislocate.

'After the operations did not work we were told Olivia would never learn to walk. But as parents we refused to accept this and so we went to see a specialist at Great Ormond Street Hospital.'

Olivia was put through a two-week intensive physiotherapy session to help build her muscles and teach her to walk.

Lena said: 'It was an awful two weeks, she would scream and cry in pain and couldn't sleep for muscle spasms and cramps but she came home with a walking frame, so it was worth it.

Now at three-year's-old Olivia took her first steps, walking unaided for the first time in her life.

The revolutionary suit was almost Olivia's last chance to be able to play like a normal little girl, it was recommended to Lena by surgeons.

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