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3671  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / Best Friend on: August 11, 2010, 04:30:30 PM
Wife just ran off with my best friend


A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs,

"Not anymore!... He is!"
3672  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / I've been looking for the perfect girl on: August 11, 2010, 04:28:30 PM
I've been looking for the perfect girl


A friend asked a gentleman why he never married?

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was a girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man."[/
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3673  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / Three Engingeering Students on: August 11, 2010, 04:19:35 PM
Three Engingeering Students



Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.

One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
3674  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / My One and Only Love on: August 11, 2010, 04:11:23 PM
My One and Only Love

   
Vicky, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a jeweller's shop in Connaught Place, Delhi.

The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Vicky thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Vicky retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'
3675  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / The Secret o Longetivity on: August 11, 2010, 04:05:50 PM
The Secret o Longetivity


   
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled.

"My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.


"Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
3676  General Category / The Newsroom / P=NP riddle solved? Indian scientist proposes proof on: August 11, 2010, 03:56:10 PM
P=NP riddle solved? Indian scientist proposes proof

Wednesday, 11 August 2010, 03:18 Hrs     

 
Email New Delhi: A scientist named Vinay Deolalikar at Hewlett-Packard (HP) Labs in California has come up with a possible proof for the famed P=NP problem in mathematics. The feat can make him earn $1 million (Rs. 4.6 crore) for solving one of the seven Clay Mathematics Institute Millennium Problems, reports Samanth Subramanian of Mint.


In an email to his fellow researchers Deolalikar wrote that he had made several unsuccessful attempts trying other combinations of ideas before he began this work.

Before accepting by the mathematical community, the paper needs to be published in a major refereed journal. It has to be accepted by the mathematical community within two years of publication for Deolalikar to collect his Clay prize.

According to Stephen Cook, who has written the official description of the P=NP problem for the Clay Institute, Deolalikar has made a serious claim to have solved P vs NP.

The P=NP problem is a meta-problem with particular relevance to computer science. The 'P' in this equation refers to a class of problems; if the time needed to solve a problem does not grow exponentially with the data given, the problem is a type-P problem. An NP problem, on the other hand, is one for which you can check whether a proposed solution is really a solution in reasonable time.

The P=NP problem questions whether an NP problem is the same as a P problem. In other words, if a problem has solutions that can be verified in polynomial time, then can the problem also be solved in polynomial time?

Ever since the problem was stated, independently, by Cook and Leonid Levin in 1971, mathematicians have thought that P does not, in fact, equal NP - but no acceptable proof of that inequality has been found.

Deolalikar's proof, which seeks to establish that P is not equal to NP, has, in only a few days, churned up considerable excitement within the mathematical community.

Deolalikar's proof will be the second of the seven Millennium problems to have fallen within the last few years, if it is published and finds the 'general acceptance' that the Clay Institute requires
3677  General Category / The Newsroom / India is wasting its time chasing BlackBerry on: August 11, 2010, 01:23:31 PM
India is wasting its time chasing BlackBerry


You're a Delhi-based wannabe terrorist needing to communicate with your handlers. What do you do? Invisible-ink notes are passe, as are carrier pigeons. You will, of course, use electronic options.

Like e-mail. Walk into a cyber cafe, log into a G-mail or Yahoo account. Don't use an account in your own name. And don't send e-mail. Simply read instructions left for you in an unsent mail, saved as a draft in your account. Then, to reply, just edit the unsent e-mail, and save it back as a draft. If e-mail isn't travelling, it can't be intercepted.

Or, like SMS. Get a prepaid SIM card with fake identity, use it for a month, then dump it. Or make good-old phone calls using the SIM card, and dump it.

There are other options. And they have a common thread: Anonymity. You do not use your own identity, and you use a mode that is virtually untraceable.

Which is why a terrorist's choice is not a BlackBerry -- a device developed by Canada's Research in Motion (RIM) that has now become a matter of concern for Indian security establishment -- that is linked to his identity. Nor is a post-paid BlackBerry connection as disposable as a prepaid SIM card. Sure, you can get post-paid mobile connections too on fake identities, but because there is billing involved, valid addresses are required.

That's not the only reason the terrorist would be wary of using a BlackBerry. First, he's not really sure how secure the mail is, once an agency is onto him. The mail is routed through servers in North America, and the US National Security Agency reportedly has the technology to crack encrypted mail in a few hours - with or without help from RIM.

More worrying for the terrorist, not all of the mail is encrypted. The headers, including the "to" and "from" e-mail addresses, are plain text -- else the internet would not be able to accept the e-mail for delivery.

And finally, the mail doesn't stay encrypted all the way. When it gets delivered to an external e-mail system such as G-mail or corporate mail, it gets decrypted -- else the recipient wouldn't be able to read it.

The exception is when you're not using a G-mail or a company mail ID, but are sending pure BlackBerry mail. That's not merely one sent between two RIM devices, but where both "from" and "to" are BlackBerry IDs. That's rare, but here's how it works.

Your RIM device would usually be associated with your official address, say ram.rao@maruti.com. But you'd also have a BlackBerry e-mail address, like ramrao@airtel.blackberry.com, which you'd use to originate a BlackBerry-only mail. Even then, RIM would record to whom the mail was sent by and when.


3678  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / Sardars in IIT kanpur on: August 11, 2010, 09:20:59 AM
Sardars in IIT kanpur

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon.

We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night.[/
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3679  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / pakistani vs indian on: August 11, 2010, 09:17:58 AM
Pakistani vs indian

Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out

American : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away

Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.

Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer
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3680  Fun Zone / Clean Jokes / poora Paise vapas if u ll nt laugh on: August 11, 2010, 08:10:32 AM
Poora Paise vapas if u ll nt laugh .



The teacher says: Children, please write your father's name in English.

Santa writes: Beautiful Red Underwear"

Teacher says: Santa, have you gone mad?? What is this? What is your father's name?


Santa: Sunder Lal Chadda
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