The 5 Toughest Questions Women Ask 

1."What are you thinking?" 
2."Do you love me?" 
3."Do I look fat?" 
4."Do you think she is prettier than me?" 
5."What would you do if I died?" 
What makes these questions so bad is that every one is 
guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or 
divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is 
to say dishonestly. For example: 

1. "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this 
question, of course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been 
pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, 
wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful 
woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met 
you." 

Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance 
whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the 
time, which was most likely one of five things: 
a. x-udball 
b. Football 
c. How fat you are. 
d. How much prettier she is than you. 
e. How he would spend the insurance money if you died. 


2. "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this 
question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need 
to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." 

Wrong answers include: 
a. I suppose so. 
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes. 
c. That depends on what you mean by "love". 
d. Does it matter? 
e. Who, me? 

3. "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this 
question is to confidently and emphatically state, 
"No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. 

Wrong answers include: 
a. I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you 
thin either. 
b. Compared to what? 
c. A little extra weight looks good on you. 
d. I've seen fatter. 
e. Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about 
your insurance policy. 

4. "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in 
the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by 
you were starring at so hard that you almost caused a 
traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just 
saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you 
are much prettier." 

Wrong answers include: 
a. Not prettier, just pretty in a different way. 
b. I don't know how one goes about rating such things. 

c. Yes, but I bet you have a better personality. 
d. Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner. 
e. Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about 
your insurance policy. 

5. "What would you do if I died?" 
Correct answer: 
"Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, 
life would cease to have meaning for me and I would 
perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the 
first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." 

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